She made me what I am today, an ‘Ironman’!
Excuse me, did I say ‘Ironman’? My bad, I meant, ‘Ironing Man’. I’m an ‘ironing man’: shirts, pants, cloth napkins, aprons (not mine…yet), pillowcases, etc.
Dusting, yes, a critical skill. It’s tedious but you won’t find creepy bugs housekeeping along our crown molding and baseboard. As for the hardwoods, the Swiffer tool is my choice. Gripping it a certain way let’s you ‘slap shot’ those pesky ‘dust bunnies’ into a corner for easy gathering.
Both chores combine housecleaning and athleticism: the multiple reps of a weightlifter sliding a water filled iron back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and the steady, rhythmic gliding of a ballroom dancer sweeping across polished hardwood. My wristband monitor goes off the charts on cleaning day.
The best benefit, of course, is the ‘come hither’ look of appreciation in my wife’s approving eyes. But, alas, by the time I’ve ‘pressed’ my last pleat, ‘pushed up’ from bunny hunting under the bed or ‘power dragged’ the Hoover over the dog haired rug, I’m too tired to go anywhere, hither or not.
Meantime, the golf clubs have lost their shine, the gym membership is going unused and the resistance bands have dry rot. Nevertheless, I’m staying in shape with squats (toilet bowl cleaning), bends & reaches (dishwasher loading/unloading), heavy lifting (turning a queen mattress) and sprints (“hurry, the dog needs to go out”).
The genesis of these new found domestic skills can be traced back to something I did forty-eight years ago, I made a promise. Promises, vows, oaths, call them what you will, are important to our own notion of self-worth, when kept. They measure us for trustworthiness. They address our character and integrity.
Promises call for sacrifice and commitment. In my case, I didn’t commit to housecleaning but I did promise my everlasting support. LIFE changes, doesn’t it? Priorities get rearranged.
Yet, somehow, It’s worked out satisfactorily. I have well pressed handkerchiefs and there’s no stress of calling ahead for a tee time. Too tired to carry clubs, anyway.
I just need someone to show me how to fold a fitted sheet…
Steve
srbottch.com (July 2017)
To legions of men everywhere who help with the housework, whether you admit it or not, because you want or need to do it.
👍
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Thanks, X. I’d write more but I have floors to scrub…😂
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It all sounds too familiar ! So this is what you toned up at the Y for ?
I hope everything is well with you / yours !
ElmerE
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Hey, Elmer. The housework is actually more exercise than the rower. By the way, do you dust first and then Swiffer, or the other way around? 😂
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Oh, Steve, you really do make me laugh. You sound like a great cleaner and, of course, it has to be done so you might as well get the best out of it.
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Thanks, Robbie. I just keep telling myself, ‘this is exercise, this is exercise’. I’d write more but I’m watching the Martha Stewart tutorial on ‘folding a fitted sheet’…😂
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You’re a good man, Charlie Brown🕺
Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S® 6, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone
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I try!😉
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Ha! Great post, Steve.
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I respect a man who does his part! My dad was that guy:). And I’m with you on the fitted sheet. Sigh.
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Thank you very much. Through all the nonsense in my story, the two lines I wanted readers to focus on are, ‘LIFE changes and priorities get rearranged’. My wife has some health issues that prevents her from getting things for the way she once did. I took a vow, made some promises in 1969. It’s important to me to keep them and to set an example for my son. It’s not always easy, but at the end of the day we have to live with ourselves, don’t we. I appreciate your comment.
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Oh, that makes it mean so much more! More than a lovely gesture–true love at work.
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Thanks. Have a good evening. Time to empty the dishwasher. Yup, that, too, at day’s end. Someday I’ll learn to cook 😉
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48 years… WOW! That’s incredible! I love this post, have to show it to my hubby. I understand the tiredness, but you earned that ‘come hither’ look 😉
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Well, toilets are cleaned, dog is walked…time to watch some golf!😂 (Let me know if he says, ‘Not me!)
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He’s done the toilets, the dog and dinner today 😉 But I get a ‘not me’ on the ironing, always. Enjoy the match!
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Are you in Finland? That is very cool.
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You caught me 🙂
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Yes, priorities do change. The way you are honoring your commitment makes me smile. The way you tell the story makes me Laugh. Out. Loud. I’ve tried to convince my doctor (now retired) for years how much exercise housework was. He never got it. My best to your lovely wife. And keep up the good work!!
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Thanks, Elen. I keep exercising and stretching so I can pat myself on the back more often. 🖖
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