An odd question from a gentleman I had just met in the locker room at my local gym. Adjacent lockers force you to get acquainted quickly, since at any moment you’ll find yourself in various stages of dress or undress. Might as well break the ice with small talk.
But my religion?
Being a gentleman, and curious, myself, I politely answered his with one of mine.
“Presbyterian”?
“No, Congregationalist, however, still under the Protestant tent.”
“Why do you ask?”
His bemused look was quickly followed by a benign smile, as the proverbial light went on in his head.
“Pescatarian! Pescatarian! Fish eaters!”, he repeated, obviously recognizing that my light was barely flickering.
“Are you one?”, he asked, again.
Nothing makes you feel older, and might I say, dumber, than someone repeating themselves, in a louder voice, accompanied by a blunt definition.
The verbal faux pas stemmed from our impromptu discussion about food and exercise. Apparently, my flippant comment about avoiding deep fried foods, fish & chips, for example, confused him.
Clarification followed when he declared himself a vegitarian and pescatarian, explaining that a pescatarian is someone who eats fish as the only meat source in an otherwise vegetarian diet. Apparently, he thought we were kindred spirits.
No, I’m not a pescatarian, nor a vegetarian. I enjoy meats, occasionally but generally avoid the red ones.
However, it’s not the first time I’ve misunderstood words from casual conversations. And it seems to be happening with an uneasy frequency.
“Do you think you need a hearing aid”, she asks. Yes, the same ‘she’ who calls out my other shortcomings, the queen of common sense, my wife of 55 years.
My audiologist also reminds me that I am a candidate for a hearing aid if I felt the need. I’ve yet to find the need. A hearing aid wouldn’t help conversation spoken from opposite ends of the house. Five decades of being together, we pretty much know what the other is going to say, anyway. Hence, we talk less and economize on words.
However, I would like to hear the ‘expert’ conversations in the sauna. There, on any particular day, someone will be holding court on the best grilling method, the latest medical advice, which vitamins to take and what investments will pop during a new administration. Now that might be the incentive to push me into getting fitted for a device.
As for my new locker room friend, I’m just thankful that he didn’t ask me if I was ‘presbyopia’. I wouldn’t have seen that one coming.
Steve
December 2024
S'amusing 