To Dance…

To dance is to love… (srbottch)

What is it about men and dancing ? While women flourish on the dance floor and enjoy the spotlight, many men seem reticent to join them.  I was one of them…

It began with the Swing, ‘it’ being pressure. “Change partners”, instructed the instructor. I felt it…palpitations…perspiration… pressure!  I was petrified.

I had agreed to dance lessons with my wife, a natural dancer. Me, I’m a natural wallflower, a slug on the hardwood. And while I was willing to learn, I wasn’t expecting to dance with other women, even if it made me a better dancer. Dancing, not better dancing, was my objective.

Understand, I had never danced with another woman since our marriage more than 25 years ago.  I rarely danced with my wife. This was virgin territory. I wasn’t resisting, but I wasn’t just jumping in feet first, either.

We conquered (my words) the swing and other dances; waltz, foxtrot, cha-cha, and the ‘dance of love’, the rumba.  As our confidence grew, so did our repertoire, we added some samba, a little mambo, and the always exciting and fast paced polka. We only sat out when they played a tango.

Now, we were hooked and looking pretty good on the floor, at least in my mind’s eye. I bought dance shoes and took compliments seriously, while my wife’s ‘eye rolls’ kept me grounded.

But, like anything, if you don’t use it, you lose it. Some fractures, a fall, and some inconvenient surgery interfered just enough to upset our skill sets. Did I forget to mention memory? We just plain forgot stuff, too. But we persevered.

Now we’ve discovered ’round dancing’.  Unlike square dancing, we dance to  traditional ballroom rhythms, moving in a circle, not a square, to a ‘caller’, and we don’t change partners. I’ll repeat, I only have to satisfy one woman, my wife. How hard is that?  Even the ‘caller’ tells me what steps to do. So simple! No sweat!  No pressure!

Of course, I do have to know the intricacies of the steps. After all, it’s dancing, and that can be problematic for me at times. Sometimes, I go left when she goes right, I step back when she goes forward, I turn when she doesn’t.

We’re having fun, laughing, often at ourselves, enjoying the social mixing, and the challenge of learning something new. We’re getting exercise, physical and mental, both important to us.

And just as the dance moves in a circle, a symbol of eternity, so do we, one couple, in love with the dance, and each other.

Go dancing, men.  Take the ‘lead’…

As entertainer Craig Ferguson quipped,

“If a man doesn’t know how to dance, he doesn’t know how to make love!”

srbottch

Oct 2015

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srbottch

Retired in 2013 after 5 years as an elementary school teacher and 40 years as a sales representative to begin anew as a school crossing guard. SMy essays/stories are a way to communicate through the telling of personal experiences. One reader said about my blog stories, "...these are like a cold sip during a marathon run, simple, real life events". Another offered about my blog, “it brings some sense of normalcy not easily found in the modern world.”

17 thoughts on “To Dance…”

  1. Good going – I admire you for putting yourself out there and proving some good can come of it!!’ Still enjoying your stories 🙂 thanks!

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    1. Thank you, Linda. I’ve been putting myself out there for 22 yrs and am still trying to figure out a right turn from a left. Marching with a Drill Sergeant was much easier than dancing with my wife. Although, they both for upset with me…

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  2. You don’t tell anything about you crushing your wife’s feets ?
    Fun ?
    I would’nt even dare to dance with your wife with my weight 110 KG 243 lb !!!
    Good story Steve.
    I wasn’t automaticaly warned about the new story ( except from you) so I had to register again.
    Please write a new one…
    X

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  4. I often wonder what it is about men and dancing, especially while I am “chair dancing” as women are often forced to do when the men in their lives just don’t dance. Kudos to you for being willing to try and try again despite setbacks. I enjoyed this piece a great deal.

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    1. We’ve been dancing 22 years now. I’m okay at it but we have fun. I wouldn’t have started if my wife didn’t insist. So, insist! Here’s a secret, no one is watching you on the floor. I recommend group lessons, fun and cheaper. Let me know how it goes, Ida. And thanks for your support.

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  5. Its so cool you decided to join your wife with the dancing lessons despite some very natural and expected trepidation. Its supposed to be one of the best couple activity to rekindle relationships. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. It was 22 hrs ago we started. As the entertainer Liberace said, “I’m not good, but I got guts!” To your point, it’s a great couple activity. We have come home from dancing and …I digress. It’s an intimate activity, it’s passionate and holding your wife, or partner, during a dance is the best ‘public display of affection’ without being crude and obnoxious. The latter might be more fun, but decorum must prevail. Don’t you agree? Thank you for the comment, Neha!

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      1. Yea no problem. I somehow got the impression that you have been dancing now for some while with your wife and have graduated to becoming a more experienced dancer. Either ways you are an excellent story teller and I loved it!

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      3. Neha, you are very complimentary and I appreciate it very much. I just started writing these ‘musings’ (my sister’s term) last year. When you get a moment, could give me some feedback as to what you like about my stories?

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