5, 4, 3 …’Weighing In’, In The Age of CoronaVirus

Life has its ups and downs, back and forths, give and takes, and, if we’re lucky, we just roll with the punches and things work out…..or get bigger.

Take waistlines, for instance. They start off small and stay that way for awhile, years, even. Then, one day you realize something has changed, you’ve ’rounded out’ in the middle, ‘widen’ in the posterior and ‘sagged’ a bit in the chest & abs. Six pack? Forgetaboutit!

The time has come for action to refine this one and only body and restore it to the sculptured look you once had, a temple. Hyperbole, maybe, but a wake-up call for sure.

So, you hit the gym and get to work, hard work, and it shows. Maybe you’re not quite the Adonis you once were but when you see yourself in the mirror, shirt off, and the scale has good numbers, then yes, total satisfaction. Your hard work is rewarded. It’s taken months, maybe years of sweat, soreness and sacrifice, but you did it. Give yourself an attaboy.

Then, almost overnight, the gym closes, the walking paths shut down, the heathy food flies off the shelf (along with toilet paper) and you’re sitting at home, in a daze, bloating on carbs and crackers and wondering what the hell just happened,

It’s the CoronaVirus curse and in no time at all, the ‘countdown’ starts, you’ve gone from the 5 hole on your belt to the 3 hole. You can feel the difference. And you know others can see it.

You want to get out and do something, something big, something that makes you shrink. A workout, that’s it. But you’re not a runner, not since a drill sergeant chased after you, barking all the way.

No, you’re a bit slower now, a little sedentary, accustomed to sitting around, thanks to CV. Besides, the ramped up cookie production in the convection oven needs tending, coffee needs brewing, the sofa needs fluffing.

The governor says, ‘Stay home!’ Such profundity! You like it. Besides, you’re in ‘that group’. Yes, the one everyone is worried about. So, you’re going nowhere, doing nothing and heading to the 1 hole, fast!

Hell, maybe you won’t even need a belt at this rate…

(Above courtesy of @markedman24 on Instagram)

Steve B

Srbottch.Com for more stories

To everyone who is anxious for the ‘lockdowns’ to end and we can get back to being ‘normal’.

Published by

srbottch

Retired in 2013 after 5 years as an elementary school teacher and 40 years as a sales representative to begin anew as a school crossing guard. SMy essays/stories are a way to communicate through the telling of personal experiences. One reader said about my blog stories, "...these are like a cold sip during a marathon run, simple, real life events". Another offered about my blog, “it brings some sense of normalcy not easily found in the modern world.”

33 thoughts on “5, 4, 3 …’Weighing In’, In The Age of CoronaVirus”

  1. Your post gave me a good giggle, Steve. My dad has put on so much weight over the past 8 weeks. He has always been a comfort eater and it is showing. My mother and I both eat less when we are anxious and that is showing too. I need a belt to keep my pants up at the moment. In South Africa, the lock down has been eased and our infection rate is climbing. I prefer to stay home than risk getting this infection in our home. Michael (asthmatic and autoimmune) and my mom (cancer survivor and over 80) are both high risk. Stay well, Steve, and maybe try walking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A ‘comfort eater’, eh? What a nice way to put it. I just think if it as ‘piggin out’ 😂. By all means, stay safe. Those like us with underlying conditions need to be very careful in the coming weeks. I do miss the ‘human touch’. As a former salesperson, the handshake was an indispensable part of my job. I miss that. Now, take care of yourself, eat healthy and keep on laughing. That’s the best Rx I can give you and I won’t charge you a cent!😂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This post is me, Steve. (Well, not the Adonis part😎) I’ve stayed with an exercise regiment at the gym for over two and a half years. I never thought I’d get interrupted by a pandemic. I got out the old exercise videos today because the daily walks aren’t cutting it.

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    1. I think it’s lots of us, Pete. Not the Adonis part, of course. Those guys must really be hurting with the gyms closed. I had been doing ‘aqua jogging’, now, if this goes on too long (already too long), I’ll have to learn to swim, again 😉. So glad you liked it. Now, get moving!!!

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    1. Oh, such a nice thing to say. I plan to read this over and over and over, and that’s just today, while I’m ‘sitting around’, planning my next snack 🤪! You and yours have a wonderful day. Laugh and stay well!

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  3. haha, love it! At first I felt like most, I don’t like being told what to do and I was used to getting out of the 5 days a week. I could feel ‘cabin fever’ setting in…. then… slowly but surely, I started to get used to it. I’m now in a solid ‘there’s plenty of time tomorrow to do it’ mode. 👿

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    1. Sometimes I try to write something funny so I was glad to see you laugh. But this is serious stuff. All those cheap jeans I bought in December are going to start popping at the seams if I don’t get up and get moving. Nah, ‘there’s plenty of time tomorrow’!!! So glad you liked this one and thanks for the great comment. 👍

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  4. I know this feeling. I put on some of my favourite dance music and waltz, quickstep, slowfoxtrot, tango, chachacha , jive and samba my way around the house. It is a very therapeutic way to exercise .

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  5. Hahaha. I enjoyed this. Steve. Yes, it is tough keeping the weight in check. Wait till you turn 79 ( That’s me this month.) I ride a beach cruiser in an area where a ten-speed would be inadequate. Still, the pounds refuse to move. Okay, so I have the heart of a lion and the body of an elephant. Maybe it will all work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John, Happy Birthday. May is a month for great people to have bdays. Mine is tomorrow but I’ll be a spry 74. Wish I was near a beach. I love the ocean. Instead, I have to settle for Lake Ontario. It’s 49 degrees here in western NY. Peeps are still wearing winter garb. But that does hide all the bellies, flabby arms and soft butts that people are getting. 😂😂😂. Thanks for your great comment, John. Stay safe.

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    1. That belt picture with the oversize belly, that was me (okay, ‘Is, it was I) but just so you know, I was pushing it out. No, really, I’m not svelte, but I’m certainly not that. On the other hand, it was mine. Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting. Just wait for the book…😂

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  6. It sure is easy to eat a lot extra at the moment. I am continuing with my exercise routine using different things instead of the gym equipment. I don’t want to be totally out of shape when I finally return to the gym.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re absolutely right, Elizabeth. Keep at it so when you finally return to the gym, you’ll be buff, sculptured and stunning, the envy of those other slackers!👍

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  7. I think we are all suffering the same fate. We have started walking again and are fortunate I suppose, that our roads are very hilly. Gives the old ticker a bit of a workout.

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    1. It’s nit just the muffin tops, it’s the buns, as well. Phew, hitting the early morning sidewalk is my new routine, now. Need to get back to a ‘5’.

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    1. Thank you, Saania. I’m curious and enjoy feedback so I can improve. Why do you feel that my blog is a ‘nice blog’? I happen to agree with you (big surprise) and I enjoy publishing stories. Need to do it more often. I really am curious about you comment. I’ve read some of your posts and enjoy them. Your blog makes us think, it makes me think, anyway. And for that, I will follow your blog. 😊

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