Life has its ups and downs, back and forths, give and takes, and, if we’re lucky, we just roll with the punches and things work out…..or get bigger.
Take waistlines, for instance. They start off small and stay that way for awhile, years, even. Then, one day you realize something has changed, you’ve ’rounded out’ in the middle, ‘widen’ in the posterior and ‘sagged’ a bit in the chest & abs. Six pack? Forgetaboutit!
The time has come for action to refine this one and only body and restore it to the sculptured look you once had, a temple. Hyperbole, maybe, but a wake-up call for sure.
So, you hit the gym and get to work, hard work, and it shows. Maybe you’re not quite the Adonis you once were but when you see yourself in the mirror, shirt off, and the scale has good numbers, then yes, total satisfaction. Your hard work is rewarded. It’s taken months, maybe years of sweat, soreness and sacrifice, but you did it. Give yourself an attaboy.
Then, almost overnight, the gym closes, the walking paths shut down, the heathy food flies off the shelf (along with toilet paper) and you’re sitting at home, in a daze, bloating on carbs and crackers and wondering what the hell just happened,
It’s the CoronaVirus curse and in no time at all, the ‘countdown’ starts, you’ve gone from the 5 hole on your belt to the 3 hole. You can feel the difference. And you know others can see it.
You want to get out and do something, something big, something that makes you shrink. A workout, that’s it. But you’re not a runner, not since a drill sergeant chased after you, barking all the way.
No, you’re a bit slower now, a little sedentary, accustomed to sitting around, thanks to CV. Besides, the ramped up cookie production in the convection oven needs tending, coffee needs brewing, the sofa needs fluffing.
The governor says, ‘Stay home!’ Such profundity! You like it. Besides, you’re in ‘that group’. Yes, the one everyone is worried about. So, you’re going nowhere, doing nothing and heading to the 1 hole, fast!
Hell, maybe you won’t even need a belt at this rate…
Steve B
Srbottch.Com for more stories
To everyone who is anxious for the ‘lockdowns’ to end and we can get back to being ‘normal’.
S'amusing 
Your post gave me a good giggle, Steve. My dad has put on so much weight over the past 8 weeks. He has always been a comfort eater and it is showing. My mother and I both eat less when we are anxious and that is showing too. I need a belt to keep my pants up at the moment. In South Africa, the lock down has been eased and our infection rate is climbing. I prefer to stay home than risk getting this infection in our home. Michael (asthmatic and autoimmune) and my mom (cancer survivor and over 80) are both high risk. Stay well, Steve, and maybe try walking.
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A ‘comfort eater’, eh? What a nice way to put it. I just think if it as ‘piggin out’ 😂. By all means, stay safe. Those like us with underlying conditions need to be very careful in the coming weeks. I do miss the ‘human touch’. As a former salesperson, the handshake was an indispensable part of my job. I miss that. Now, take care of yourself, eat healthy and keep on laughing. That’s the best Rx I can give you and I won’t charge you a cent!😂
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Thank you, Steve. You must also stay safe and well.
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This post is me, Steve. (Well, not the Adonis part😎) I’ve stayed with an exercise regiment at the gym for over two and a half years. I never thought I’d get interrupted by a pandemic. I got out the old exercise videos today because the daily walks aren’t cutting it.
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I think it’s lots of us, Pete. Not the Adonis part, of course. Those guys must really be hurting with the gyms closed. I had been doing ‘aqua jogging’, now, if this goes on too long (already too long), I’ll have to learn to swim, again 😉. So glad you liked it. Now, get moving!!!
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You are wonderful!
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Oh, such a nice thing to say. I plan to read this over and over and over, and that’s just today, while I’m ‘sitting around’, planning my next snack 🤪! You and yours have a wonderful day. Laugh and stay well!
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Great post, Steve.
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Derrick, occasionally I write a good one. I enjoyed this one, myself 😂! Hope all is going well with you and the ‘producer’! Stay well!
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We are fine, thanks very much
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haha, love it! At first I felt like most, I don’t like being told what to do and I was used to getting out of the 5 days a week. I could feel ‘cabin fever’ setting in…. then… slowly but surely, I started to get used to it. I’m now in a solid ‘there’s plenty of time tomorrow to do it’ mode. 👿
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Sometimes I try to write something funny so I was glad to see you laugh. But this is serious stuff. All those cheap jeans I bought in December are going to start popping at the seams if I don’t get up and get moving. Nah, ‘there’s plenty of time tomorrow’!!! So glad you liked this one and thanks for the great comment. 👍
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✌
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Your post gave me a big jiggle, I mean, giggle.
😉
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Glad you enjoyed it, Laura. It’s a lot easier to ‘jiggle’ when you’re a 1 than a 5. But giggling is easy at any number 😂. Have a great day!
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I know this feeling. I put on some of my favourite dance music and waltz, quickstep, slowfoxtrot, tango, chachacha , jive and samba my way around the house. It is a very therapeutic way to exercise .
>
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Dancing is the great under appreciated exercise. I would dance with you, if you didn’t mind a misstep now and then. 😉
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Hahaha. I enjoyed this. Steve. Yes, it is tough keeping the weight in check. Wait till you turn 79 ( That’s me this month.) I ride a beach cruiser in an area where a ten-speed would be inadequate. Still, the pounds refuse to move. Okay, so I have the heart of a lion and the body of an elephant. Maybe it will all work.
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John, Happy Birthday. May is a month for great people to have bdays. Mine is tomorrow but I’ll be a spry 74. Wish I was near a beach. I love the ocean. Instead, I have to settle for Lake Ontario. It’s 49 degrees here in western NY. Peeps are still wearing winter garb. But that does hide all the bellies, flabby arms and soft butts that people are getting. 😂😂😂. Thanks for your great comment, John. Stay safe.
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Stay safe as well, Steve. 😊
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Ain’t that the truth !
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That belt picture with the oversize belly, that was me (okay, ‘Is, it was I) but just so you know, I was pushing it out. No, really, I’m not svelte, but I’m certainly not that. On the other hand, it was mine. Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting. Just wait for the book…😂
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It sure is easy to eat a lot extra at the moment. I am continuing with my exercise routine using different things instead of the gym equipment. I don’t want to be totally out of shape when I finally return to the gym.
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You’re absolutely right, Elizabeth. Keep at it so when you finally return to the gym, you’ll be buff, sculptured and stunning, the envy of those other slackers!👍
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I think we are all suffering the same fate. We have started walking again and are fortunate I suppose, that our roads are very hilly. Gives the old ticker a bit of a workout.
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I needed to chuckle and you provided that. I’m also glad I am not alone in the muffin top getting muffier department! Thanks 😊
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It’s nit just the muffin tops, it’s the buns, as well. Phew, hitting the early morning sidewalk is my new routine, now. Need to get back to a ‘5’.
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Nice blog
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Thank you, Saania. I’m curious and enjoy feedback so I can improve. Why do you feel that my blog is a ‘nice blog’? I happen to agree with you (big surprise) and I enjoy publishing stories. Need to do it more often. I really am curious about you comment. I’ve read some of your posts and enjoy them. Your blog makes us think, it makes me think, anyway. And for that, I will follow your blog. 😊
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Yup! I’m terrified to try on last year’s shorts…
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
THAT’S RIGHT—BOTH GOOD AND NOT SO GOOD FROM CV. BELT IT OUT! 😀
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Thank you, Jonathan!
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VERY WELCOME ARE YOU!
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We need to organize a big pants swap. The only people who lose out would be the little guys. I love your blog. I feel like I am having coffe with you.
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An we make it a scotch instead? I mean, this is a pandemic. Let’s go big, or go home. (I haven’t had a scotch in years. But, seriously, I can’t tell you how wonderful I feel when I read a comment like the one you wrote. Thank you very much.
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By the way, i like to shoot pictures with my iPhone. I post them to Instagram under ‘@srbottch’. At least, I think that’s my IG name. No particular subject.
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