“Your Fly Is Open…”: Misplaced Priorities

I have reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. (Clear Thoughts)

She alerted me with an edgy, disgusting sort of admonition, “you can’t leave the house like that, your fly is open“. I looked down and, yes, she was right, again.

“Just be thankful I remembered to put on pants”, I wanted to say. Instead, I just grumbled something incomprehensible and corrected the little faux-pas.

What happens to a person after a certain point in life? Does forgetting to do routine stuff become the new norm? It seems to be.

“You did it again, you left the toilet seat up”, she called from one of our ‘too many’ bathrooms. .

I grew up in a large family, five boys and two girls, with one bathroom, just 1. If we closed the toilet seat cover every time it got used, my father would have spent several paychecks a year replacing it because the hinges would have become unhinged ( I feel that way, myself, at times).

But this isn’t a commentary on habits, good or bad. It’s about forgetfulness creeping in as I age. I don’t even want to call it ‘forgetfulness’, the things I forget just aren’t a high priority. A down zipper? Open toilet? No big deal.

My high priority stuff is more like eating, finding my keys, whether to hit or hold 14 in a blackjack hand and scheduling a beer night with other seniors.

At my local health club, I find myself looking in the mirror to make sure I’m properly attired before going to the pool. It’s one article of clothing and I have to check to make sure I’m wearing it? Maybe that should be a higher priority.

I’m the guy in the grocery store parking lot looking for his car with a cart full of dairy products souring and ice cream melting under a summer sun. I’ve often come close to calling security to report a stolen car but how many times can a guy do that before getting labeled a public nuisance?

I’m thinking about realigning my priorities closer to what she’d like (yes, her, the better half). After 54 years of marriage, it’s the least I can do, don’t you agree? If this works, I’ll be reprimanded fewer times for forgetfulness and feel better about myself.

Whoops, I spoke too soon…

“You didn’t set the house alarm last night!”, she reminded me at breakfast

“Wow, we’re lucky we made it to morning alive”, I muttered into my coffee cup, having just gotten over the shock of noticing that I put my socks on the wrong feet (yes, the fancy logo faces out).

I’ve a grand memory for forgetting (Robert Louis Stevenson)*

Steve Bottcher (070923)

*Brainy Quotes

Published by

Unknown's avatar

srbottch

Retired in 2013 after 5 years as an elementary school teacher and 40 years as a sales representative to begin anew as a school crossing guard. SMy essays/stories are a way to communicate through the telling of personal experiences. One reader said about my blog stories, "...these are like a cold sip during a marathon run, simple, real life events". Another offered about my blog, “it brings some sense of normalcy not easily found in the modern world.”

25 thoughts on ““Your Fly Is Open…”: Misplaced Priorities”

  1. Very droll! I enjoyed your take on “senior moments.” I’ve always had a hard time finding my car in a parking lot/garage. At least now I have the last resort option of setting off the car alarm with my key fob.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks, Liz. I had to look up ‘droll’ (limited vocabulary) and I think that was a perfect description. As I told someone else, I take a picture of my parking spot. I’ve actually created another acronym regarding this topic. ‘IF’, I Forgot’!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. Stephen,
    I love the basis of your essay it speaks to various demographics and we all have been, being, or on our way there! Congratulations on 54 years of Marriage!
    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. Sounds too familiar. However, I now always park in the same row at the grocery store. I remember when I flew out of a Detroit Metro every week at 45yo I parked the same place on the top floor because I had a hard time remembering where I left my car almost 40 years ago. I was forgetful back then also,; just have an excuse now. 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. When I park in the hospital garage, I take a picture of my location and also write it on the ticket. Then I just have to remember that I did that…🥴

      Like

      Reply

    1. Nice not to be alone😂😂😂. I knew a gentleman at work who called me to his desk to look down at his feet. A black shoe on one foot and brown on the other. So funny. As for my line about putting socks on the wrong feet, that was tongue in cheek. Socks can go on either foot, unless they have a special design, of course. I was just being silly. Thanks, Robbie.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment